Welcome to Xdrivers
Please login or register.

Author Topic: XL Rubber!!!  (Read 1446 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

November 09, 2015, 09:05:40 AM

Mars

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 226
  • Country: gb
  • Location: Hell's Kitchen
  • Gender: Female
  • M5 Fan
    • View Profile
XL Rubber!!!
« on: November 09, 2015, 09:05:40 AM »
Jane and Mavis are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Mavis: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Mavis: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Mavis hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist promptly faints!

2014 3.0d M Sport (the snail)
Porsche Macan ordered 2017

November 09, 2015, 09:11:47 AM
Reply #1

sid10

  • Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
  • Country: gb
    • View Profile
Re: XL Rubber!!!
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2015, 09:11:47 AM »
Very good , does Jane take the hump about it ?

November 09, 2015, 09:25:37 AM
Reply #2

Mars

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 226
  • Country: gb
  • Location: Hell's Kitchen
  • Gender: Female
  • M5 Fan
    • View Profile
Re: XL Rubber!!!
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2015, 09:25:37 AM »
 :)) I see what you did there, Sid, very quick for first thing on a Monday!

Mars
2014 3.0d M Sport (the snail)
Porsche Macan ordered 2017

November 09, 2015, 05:22:57 PM
Reply #3

X5Sport

  • Lifer
  • *****
  • Posts: 15936
  • Country: england
  • Location: Planet X6......
  • Gender: Male
  • Über Geek in Chief
    • View Profile
Re: XL Rubber!!!
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2015, 05:22:57 PM »
 :))
:type: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

November 09, 2015, 06:05:05 PM
Reply #4

chris.t

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 151
  • Country: gb
  • Location: Moray
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: XL Rubber!!!
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2015, 06:05:05 PM »
 :)) very good
Present 2016 Jaguar XJ Portfolio
Previous 2014 BMW 640d msport
Previous 2012 BMW X5 30d msport

November 10, 2015, 05:01:06 AM
Reply #5

Denis O

  • Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 545
  • Country: 00
  • Location: Maidstone
    • View Profile
Re: XL Rubber!!!
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2015, 05:01:06 AM »
Perhaps Mavis was doing 20 a day.......
06 Range Rover Vogue SE 4.2 SC
05 Mercedes SL350

November 10, 2015, 10:16:51 AM
Reply #6

Mars

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 226
  • Country: gb
  • Location: Hell's Kitchen
  • Gender: Female
  • M5 Fan
    • View Profile
Re: XL Rubber!!!
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2015, 10:16:51 AM »
Perhaps Mavis was doing 20 a day.......

  :))

 :razz: :yikes:
2014 3.0d M Sport (the snail)
Porsche Macan ordered 2017