Not joined yet? Register for free and enjoy features such as alerts, private messaging and viewing latest posts and topics.

The missing wife.....

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
Post Reply
User avatar
X5Sport
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 18572
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:09 pm
Location: Planet X6......

The missing wife.....

Post by X5Sport » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:51 pm

A bloke's wife goes missing while they are diving off the West Australian Coast.

He reports the event to the Police, searches fruitlessly himself, and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door, and he is confronted by a couple of police officers - the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

The Sarge says, “Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but also some good news and maybe some more good news.”

“Well,” says the bloke, “I guess I'd better have the bad news first.”

The Sarge says, “I'm really sorry, mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.”

The bloke is naturally very distressed to hear this and breaks down in tears, absolutely sobbing his heart out.

But after a little while he composes himself, and asks what the good news is.

The Sarge says, “Well when we got your wife up, there were quite a few really good-sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.”

He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it.

“Jeez, thanks! They're bloody beauties mate. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so, what's the other possible good news?”

“Well,” the Sarge says, “If you fancy a quick trip out with us, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.”
__________________
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

User avatar
shadrack
Snr Member
Snr Member
Posts: 2631
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:19 pm
Location: north yorkshire

Re: The missing wife.....

Post by shadrack » Sun Aug 09, 2015 7:18 pm

sort of borderline........still funny tho :))
current: 2016 Vw Crafter
              2007 318d touring
              2008 Transit sport van            
              1964 vw beach buggy
              1988 e30 325i convertible

User avatar
Mars
Member
Member
Posts: 226
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 3:12 pm
Location: Hell's Kitchen

Re: The missing wife.....

Post by Mars » Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:41 pm

Oh Richard! (Said in Hyacinth Bouquet style)
Not your finest- but not bad  :P
2014 3.0d M Sport (the snail)
Porsche Macan ordered 2017

User avatar
X5Sport
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 18572
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:09 pm
Location: Planet X6......

Re: The missing wife.....

Post by X5Sport » Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:43 pm

Well I could have chosen a Cilla one, but that might really have offended....... >:D
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

Post Reply