Facts!

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
Post Reply
User avatar
jaynana
Snr Member
Snr Member
Posts: 1884
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:31 pm
Location: Amersham

Facts!

Post by jaynana » Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:00 pm

We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
________________________________
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!

________________________________
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
________________________________
Why Can’t Anybody Satisfy A Woman Completely....?
Because Nobody Has A Dick Made Of Gold, Decorated With Diamonds And Ejaculates Cash....!!
________________________________
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws Of Gravity....!!
________________________________
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure.....!!
________________________________
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
________________________________
DEFINITION OF BJ
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
________________________________
BALLS THEORY
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman.
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
________________________________
EXPLANATION
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 7 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
________________________________
VIAGARA
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGARA has Front effect.
________________________________
BURNING LOVE
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks by mistake.
Current: BMW 640i Convertible (320PS)
             Audi A7 Sportback 3.0 T FSI quattro (300 PS) SE STronic  8)
Previous: BMW X5 E53 Facelift 3.0d

User avatar
Pinewood
Member
Member
Posts: 414
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2016 11:09 pm
Location: Londonium

Re: Facts!

Post by Pinewood » Fri Apr 08, 2016 8:53 am

:-)  :-)  :-)
F25 x30d M Sport Lci. Prof Media/Nav, adaptive xenons,ext storage,lights package, 19" Staggered 622M alloys.

Online
User avatar
X5Sport
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 18594
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:09 pm
Location: Planet X6......

Re: Facts!

Post by X5Sport » Fri Apr 08, 2016 3:58 pm

:)) :)) O:-)
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

User avatar
Mars
Member
Member
Posts: 226
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 3:12 pm
Location: Hell's Kitchen

Re: Facts!

Post by Mars » Fri Apr 22, 2016 4:54 pm

:))
Haven't heard these before, thanks for the laughs!
M
2014 3.0d M Sport (the snail)
Porsche Macan ordered 2017

User avatar
chubbs
Member
Member
Posts: 127
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 8:49 am
Location: Herts

Re: Facts!

Post by chubbs » Fri Apr 22, 2016 10:37 pm

These jokes are terrible!!!  :o
Image

User avatar
Dan Alex
Member
Member
Posts: 137
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:31 pm
Location: Bucharest
Contact:

Re: Facts!

Post by Dan Alex » Sun Aug 07, 2016 8:12 pm

DEFINITION OF BJ
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!

Pure genius ! :))))
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet."

E53 3.0i Sport
Ducati 749 Dark (AKA - the rattle)
Previous: Merc 230 kompressor
                Dacia Sandero :)))

Post Reply